You know you gotta help me out.

Hello everyone!

Hadn't read the blogs in a long time cus i was in Devon doing my mapping project for 1 week, and in some places of England, internet is more difficult to get then catching a leprechaun. It was quite good, other then the last 2 days where I found myself ravaged by the effects of being totally knackered, and also emotionally lopsidded becus of certain events that left me very drained and not a very happy geologist.

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I went for mass today, after missing mass last week because i was in Brixham, and I couldn't get to church because my transportation to my mapping and study location leaves at silly o'clock, and I don't return until sunset usually.

Then again, thinking back of the entire lent, I probably missed countless masses over the weeks of so called reflection.

The thing is, I struggled within myself to justify me missing mass because I spent many a weekend not in Manchester, and instead, am in some farm in the countryside approximately at least a 20 min drive from any kind of civilisation, don't even talk about church. I found it hard to reconcile my justification with my desire and passion, which was the country, nature, and rocks.

I found so slowly yet drastically being drawn into this abhoral vortex for the love of green, space, and soil, addicted and humbled by the vastness of a simple being in the eloquent rolling hills.

I could not see why I wanted to go for mass instead. Yet, I could not even believe myself trying to justify missing mass.

This sordid affair began shortly after Ash Wednesday.

Today, I went for mass. I went for it not because it was an obligation, but because there I was in this vastness experienced, I realised that I was in my very own way, worshiping the very same God that has created my experience, the beauty of this space, the very creation of nature, and the epitome of beauty. I cannot but feel sad that I felt this way knowing the doctrinal variation my new found beliefs posed.

Yet as human and at the same time divine as the celebration of the Holy Eucharist can be, I realised how much it meant to me to recognise the man in Christ that I did once fall madly head over heels with.

With the advent of events human and as uncontrolled as what I have experienced in the past week, I still feel the inevitable hunger for the loving graces of God.

I am but a feeble man, with nothing to offer, only my arms in upward supplication for His graces, and my tongue held in offering to sing His praises in eternity.

You know you gotta help me out.