hello friends,
if anyone checks this blog, can you let the rest of MSC know...
that I will be away on this wkend and for 2 wkends in Dec.. 1st and 3rd.
So busy! But I'm happy being busy also.
How's everyone? Busy studying for exams.. I'm so glad I don't need to take exams..;p
I have not placed much thought into my faith journey until I had to do a short sharing last Sat. But before I go into that, let me tell you what motivated me to share. Kenny's opening prayer during our SP ministry meeting one of two Sundays prior to that. So you see, speak the truth with love and you can move hearts too.
Hence, that was my motto, to speak the truth with love on Sunday. To share that my faith was such an imperfect and broken one so that I can let people know that it's not by my might but by God's Spirit that I'm still holding on. It's silly how we get so caught up with our efforts and our busy busy lives. It can be really difficult to squeeze some time out for prayer but it is the most important thing to building our relationship with Him.
Hesitate no more! Stop surfing blogs and start spending 5 mins to pray!
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Are you still reading this? Go and pray!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
A Way of Life
Hello.. Just a space for me to communicate to you guys..
Just like to quote for all of you something I have from St. Francis de Sales. It's called 'A Way of Life'
Do not consider the importance of the things you do, for of themselves they are insignificant; consider only the dignity they have in being willed by God's will, arranged by His Providence, and planned according to His Wisdom. In a word, if they are pleasing to God and acknowledged to be so, to whom should they be displeasing?...
Do not love anything too much. I beg you, not even virtues, which we sometimes lose by our excessive zeal. It seems to me that white is not the colour proper to roses; for red roses are more beautiful and more fragrant; however, white is the distinctive characteristic of lilies. Let us be what we are and be that well, in order to bring honor to the Master Craftsman whose handiwork we are. People laughed at the painter who, intending to paint a horse, came up with a perfect bull; the work was handsome in itself, but not credit to the artist who had had other plans and succeeded in this only by chance. Let us be what God wants us to be, and let us not be what we would like to be, contrary to His intention. Even if we were the most perfect creatures under heaven, what good would that do us if we were not as God's will would have us to be?
-St. Francis de Sales
Please pray for me as I am going through some struggles in letting go and letting God mold me into what He wants me to be.
Just like to quote for all of you something I have from St. Francis de Sales. It's called 'A Way of Life'
Do not consider the importance of the things you do, for of themselves they are insignificant; consider only the dignity they have in being willed by God's will, arranged by His Providence, and planned according to His Wisdom. In a word, if they are pleasing to God and acknowledged to be so, to whom should they be displeasing?...
Do not love anything too much. I beg you, not even virtues, which we sometimes lose by our excessive zeal. It seems to me that white is not the colour proper to roses; for red roses are more beautiful and more fragrant; however, white is the distinctive characteristic of lilies. Let us be what we are and be that well, in order to bring honor to the Master Craftsman whose handiwork we are. People laughed at the painter who, intending to paint a horse, came up with a perfect bull; the work was handsome in itself, but not credit to the artist who had had other plans and succeeded in this only by chance. Let us be what God wants us to be, and let us not be what we would like to be, contrary to His intention. Even if we were the most perfect creatures under heaven, what good would that do us if we were not as God's will would have us to be?
-St. Francis de Sales
Please pray for me as I am going through some struggles in letting go and letting God mold me into what He wants me to be.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
License to Wed, Strategic Planing for Information Systems and Ministering
Q: What do these three have in common?
A: Take people from where they are, and build from there.
This is a very strong theme for me these two days coz I watched License to Wed last night and attended lecture this morning. License to Wed, while certains I won't agree about it, has a dominant theme of communication. But what i saw was the priest meeting the couple at their level, with their faults and weaknesses, and try to build them up to be a better couple and also as an individual. Strategic IS planning is no different. No one likes to be told that their work process or system sucks. So the only way is to build on the existing with what goodness exists, while in the process, do some housekeeping and trimming of the fat.
How have we approached our brothers and sisters when we challenge them? Are we first judging them and using our standards and what we think is right to tell them off? Or are we lovingly working with them, however disparate they are from our angelic standards?
Lord, help us be compassionate people. May we constantly be aware of our own shortcomings and that we too are far off from your standard, so that we may minister to others with loving kindness and compassion as you do to us. Amen.
A: Take people from where they are, and build from there.
This is a very strong theme for me these two days coz I watched License to Wed last night and attended lecture this morning. License to Wed, while certains I won't agree about it, has a dominant theme of communication. But what i saw was the priest meeting the couple at their level, with their faults and weaknesses, and try to build them up to be a better couple and also as an individual. Strategic IS planning is no different. No one likes to be told that their work process or system sucks. So the only way is to build on the existing with what goodness exists, while in the process, do some housekeeping and trimming of the fat.
How have we approached our brothers and sisters when we challenge them? Are we first judging them and using our standards and what we think is right to tell them off? Or are we lovingly working with them, however disparate they are from our angelic standards?
Lord, help us be compassionate people. May we constantly be aware of our own shortcomings and that we too are far off from your standard, so that we may minister to others with loving kindness and compassion as you do to us. Amen.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Nothingness...
I don't really know what to share. I wanna praise God for having taught me several things this school break. The experiences i had, the people whom i met. These have helped me grown. Strangely i cant seem to share anything at all. i only have this to say. I wan to be HOLY today. Holier tomorrow and EVEN HOLIER the day after. This is my moltivation for the past weeks. For i desire to enter the narrow gate where it leads to life. Seedlings pray for me....
Sunday, July 22, 2007
evan almighty!
Hey Jason, I agree with you.. When you face natural disasters and everything is not within your control, you tend to take things more easily and try your best to get up and get going. In Singapore, everything is so well taken care of that Singaporeans complain and mull over the silliest things.. We are very blessed in that sense but alos undeniably spoilt. Your flood experience inspired me to name this entry as the new movie on the modern day Noah. I say we make this a community event!! What say SP?!
Anyway, sorry guys for vanishing into thin air. I just happen to travel every weekend and am very caught up with work. SORRY!! Miss all your company. Today's reading on martha and Mary reminds me to take time off to just enjoy the presence of the Lord and to receive from everyone I meet. How easy it is for me to judge people sometimes and think that I know more or I have more to offer. I regret those times where encounters with others could have been something more if I had only opened my heart.
ok, gtg do work soon.. take care all of u and Jason, hope you don't catch a cold in that dreadful weather!
Anyway, sorry guys for vanishing into thin air. I just happen to travel every weekend and am very caught up with work. SORRY!! Miss all your company. Today's reading on martha and Mary reminds me to take time off to just enjoy the presence of the Lord and to receive from everyone I meet. How easy it is for me to judge people sometimes and think that I know more or I have more to offer. I regret those times where encounters with others could have been something more if I had only opened my heart.
ok, gtg do work soon.. take care all of u and Jason, hope you don't catch a cold in that dreadful weather!
Flood.
The great flood is here in the UK! Many people are stranded... and i'm one of them!! : (
I'm in Manchester now.. and I'm stuck in Manchester with no way of going home to Plymouth, cus the train line between Birmingham and Gloucester is disrupted due to severe flooding in the Midlands!!
I'm sleeping on my friend's couch.. have been for the past nights... hopefully i get to sleep on my own bed... SOME TIME SOON. The train services say that things will be disrupted for a week! Oh no! how am i going to get to work by tuesday!!??!
-----
The flood is quite an amazing one... you find it in the Bible when God told Noah to gather 2 of a kind and build a gigantic sampan.. When I saw it flood on BBC news.. I thought to myself.. oh no.. poor people.. houses destroyed.. people stranded.. all sorts of amusingly strange and sad things.
I won't say that people are suffering though.. but the effects of it is greater then what it seems on the surface.. Transportation is brought to a standstill.. i who live in the south, and am in the north can't get back to work in the south.. strawberry, blue berry and other farms in Gloucester/Worcester/Hereford-shires are destroyed..
Its a strange whole new experience.. being disrupted by natural disasters, i never thought of it before. This is as compared to Singapore.. where you can almost never have your life be disrupted by our weather (Going to sentosa to play does not count).
It puts into perspective how in life, you largely can't choose which portion of the pie you want to get. Sometimes you get the pick of the crop, and sometimes, you get the rotten parts. Regardless of the outcome.. its just about picking your ass up, and getting on with life as best as you can, and thats living your life to the full.
Though there are few casualties because of the flood (thankfully) and people are largely taking the severe flooding with a strange light heartedness.. still.. pray for the victims.. especially those who have their livelihoods destroyed by the raging waters, and also.. that London Paddington Station will not burst at its seams and have a major stampede or soemthing, when I fight my way there to go home tommorow. : S
I'm in Manchester now.. and I'm stuck in Manchester with no way of going home to Plymouth, cus the train line between Birmingham and Gloucester is disrupted due to severe flooding in the Midlands!!
I'm sleeping on my friend's couch.. have been for the past nights... hopefully i get to sleep on my own bed... SOME TIME SOON. The train services say that things will be disrupted for a week! Oh no! how am i going to get to work by tuesday!!??!
-----
The flood is quite an amazing one... you find it in the Bible when God told Noah to gather 2 of a kind and build a gigantic sampan.. When I saw it flood on BBC news.. I thought to myself.. oh no.. poor people.. houses destroyed.. people stranded.. all sorts of amusingly strange and sad things.
I won't say that people are suffering though.. but the effects of it is greater then what it seems on the surface.. Transportation is brought to a standstill.. i who live in the south, and am in the north can't get back to work in the south.. strawberry, blue berry and other farms in Gloucester/Worcester/Hereford-shires are destroyed..
Its a strange whole new experience.. being disrupted by natural disasters, i never thought of it before. This is as compared to Singapore.. where you can almost never have your life be disrupted by our weather (Going to sentosa to play does not count).
It puts into perspective how in life, you largely can't choose which portion of the pie you want to get. Sometimes you get the pick of the crop, and sometimes, you get the rotten parts. Regardless of the outcome.. its just about picking your ass up, and getting on with life as best as you can, and thats living your life to the full.
Though there are few casualties because of the flood (thankfully) and people are largely taking the severe flooding with a strange light heartedness.. still.. pray for the victims.. especially those who have their livelihoods destroyed by the raging waters, and also.. that London Paddington Station will not burst at its seams and have a major stampede or soemthing, when I fight my way there to go home tommorow. : S
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Thankful.
Last night, I was standing on an adit, trying to get to the other side of the passage without standing on the stopes. I had to attach myself to some ropes rigged as a traverse line. As I climbed/scrambled along the walls without my feet touching the stope, I didn't feel fear...
If I put pressure on the wooden ground that has been there since 1800s, the floor would give way and I would fall and most certainly be, dead, or severely injured.
A week ago, I was dangling over a hole that dropped about 20m, trying to remove the ropes from the P-bolts. Again I didn't feel fear.
I realised that many times I have been in ridiculously dangerous situations held up by mere little metalic contraptions and ridiculously thin 10mm static ropes, and I'm still alive!
Been thinking about these things alot recently, and I can only thank God for the graces and safety and common sense that He has imbued in me. For the first time last night, i actually prayed thanksgiving after coming out safely from the gazillionth mine/cave that I stepped off. strangely, it feels very good.
If I put pressure on the wooden ground that has been there since 1800s, the floor would give way and I would fall and most certainly be, dead, or severely injured.
A week ago, I was dangling over a hole that dropped about 20m, trying to remove the ropes from the P-bolts. Again I didn't feel fear.
I realised that many times I have been in ridiculously dangerous situations held up by mere little metalic contraptions and ridiculously thin 10mm static ropes, and I'm still alive!
Been thinking about these things alot recently, and I can only thank God for the graces and safety and common sense that He has imbued in me. For the first time last night, i actually prayed thanksgiving after coming out safely from the gazillionth mine/cave that I stepped off. strangely, it feels very good.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
wot wot?
Hello people!
Haven't seen an entry here for a long time! So i shall post some good/bad news from here in UKland.
First the Good news:
The school year's finished! Yay! I got my results yesterday and i'm proud to say i've got a 1st class for my overall GPA.. didn't get first in class as i had desired, but should be the top few. not important.
Been given an interview opportunity for a job thats pretty interesting.. travelling around UK for 5 weeks.. and they pay somewhere about 1.2k pounds for that 5 weeks, accom and travelling expenses covered, to do some charity and fundraising stuff.
Been doing alot of caving stuff, and planning to do more research into mineral veins and lodes over the summer while i'm here in Devon (they have alot of funny mines here). And my caving club, Manchester University Speleology Club, is looking at the possibility of going to Malaysia (Perlis and Perak specifically) to do a caving expedition in August 2008. We have started prelimn discussions (over gin n tonic and ale) and some plans to contact people from various instituitions here and in malaysia to further our plans. This means that I will be back! somewhere in late August 2008!! Yay!
Bad news (sort of):
I'm still Jobless. Have been for 1 week that sucks cus i'm nearly out of cash. : ( Pray that i am bestowed a job. Any job, as long as it pays.
I obviously won't be back in Sillypore till long long long way to go, i won't have any opportunities to come back intermittently or anything even if i have a truck full of cash because all my time have been pretty committed to various ridiculous activities i subject myself to and also most importantly, my fieldwork.
Raymond tan is coming in december/january. What news can be worse then that? oh please..
Pray intercessions (rather urgent).
Pray for a job. really need one cus no job = no money = starvation = uneccesary hardship = death.
Pray for clear and objective mind to make decisions and act appropriatly (as a catholic.. with regards to spiritual matters in particular).
Pray the divine mercy for me, as The Raymond Tan is unleashed unto my beautiful city in a few months time, that the Lord be merciful and minimise the mental trauma caused to the poor inhabitants of Manchester.
Lastly.
I hardly get to hear from most of u people with the exception of a few of u who write to me regularly, or are on msn at strange hours... do share frequently on the blogs since most of the time, it is measure by measure, the most efficient way of communicating to me 11,000miles away, and i really like reading ur sharings since at the moment, it is literally, the only spiritual input into my life.
G-d bless, and tu-rah!
Haven't seen an entry here for a long time! So i shall post some good/bad news from here in UKland.
First the Good news:
The school year's finished! Yay! I got my results yesterday and i'm proud to say i've got a 1st class for my overall GPA.. didn't get first in class as i had desired, but should be the top few. not important.
Been given an interview opportunity for a job thats pretty interesting.. travelling around UK for 5 weeks.. and they pay somewhere about 1.2k pounds for that 5 weeks, accom and travelling expenses covered, to do some charity and fundraising stuff.
Been doing alot of caving stuff, and planning to do more research into mineral veins and lodes over the summer while i'm here in Devon (they have alot of funny mines here). And my caving club, Manchester University Speleology Club, is looking at the possibility of going to Malaysia (Perlis and Perak specifically) to do a caving expedition in August 2008. We have started prelimn discussions (over gin n tonic and ale) and some plans to contact people from various instituitions here and in malaysia to further our plans. This means that I will be back! somewhere in late August 2008!! Yay!
Bad news (sort of):
I'm still Jobless. Have been for 1 week that sucks cus i'm nearly out of cash. : ( Pray that i am bestowed a job. Any job, as long as it pays.
I obviously won't be back in Sillypore till long long long way to go, i won't have any opportunities to come back intermittently or anything even if i have a truck full of cash because all my time have been pretty committed to various ridiculous activities i subject myself to and also most importantly, my fieldwork.
Raymond tan is coming in december/january. What news can be worse then that? oh please..
Pray intercessions (rather urgent).
Pray for a job. really need one cus no job = no money = starvation = uneccesary hardship = death.
Pray for clear and objective mind to make decisions and act appropriatly (as a catholic.. with regards to spiritual matters in particular).
Pray the divine mercy for me, as The Raymond Tan is unleashed unto my beautiful city in a few months time, that the Lord be merciful and minimise the mental trauma caused to the poor inhabitants of Manchester.
Lastly.
I hardly get to hear from most of u people with the exception of a few of u who write to me regularly, or are on msn at strange hours... do share frequently on the blogs since most of the time, it is measure by measure, the most efficient way of communicating to me 11,000miles away, and i really like reading ur sharings since at the moment, it is literally, the only spiritual input into my life.
G-d bless, and tu-rah!
Friday, June 1, 2007
keeping the faith
I have been wanting to share about my faith for a while, but just have not had the time to. Keeping in mind what Raymond said about how faith not shared will lead to its death, I shall try my best to share especially when I have the luxury to type away tonight.
One of the reasons why I feel distant from God is that I do not keep him in my life everyday. Daily prayer is so important but I fail to be constant in it. Going for confession on novena last saturday really made me wake up. Instead of saying what my penance was, the priest asked directly, "Do you say your prayers daily?" And all I could say was a sheepish "I try to...". :p
I liken it to a relationship. With Jacques, I have to call or sms him everyday. This communication lets us know of how we feel, how our day has been, what's been bothering us. How can I say that I have no time for God? I felt really guilty thinking about it. Turning my back on the one who cares the most and shrugging Him off by saying I'm busy. Go save the world. Leave me alone. Or let me save myself.
Maybe it's the devil as well as my busy research life. But in the end, I know I have to come back to God, to find that peace within and to come back to the place where I truly belong. I know it's much easier for us to say it's impossible, it's difficult, we can't do it. But it's not a journey for us to go through on our own. It's one where Jesus walks with us, carries us and walks ahead of us. To believe and keep the faith is really something that we cannot boast about ourselves but to give back the praise to God. How easy it is in the world, to follow the idea that God is redundant and far away. To close our doors to the church for its backward and old fashioned ways. It is a struggle for me, especially when I face issues on sexuality, other religions, evolution, use of contraceptives... I end up questioning .. Is this really the true way?
Recently I have been trying to pick up daily prayer in my life. I'm taking slow and small steps. I set aside 15 mins to pray before I left the house one day, and God spoke to me through an article found the 'The Word Amongst Us'.
Just to quote:
It is Possible! All of us who have been baptized are set free from sin and filled with divine life. But without our daily decision to seek the Lord and to take hold of what we have received in baptism, this new life will remain either as a seed or as a fragile sapling. Only by making daily decisions to turn our lives to Jesus will we experience the grace and power that Gid has so generously given us in this sacrament of baptism.
It all ties in nicely doesn't it? What is blocking us from God? Most of the time we are the ones who keep Him at bay. Why? Why oh why especially when He loves us more than our fears or sins.
One of the reasons why I feel distant from God is that I do not keep him in my life everyday. Daily prayer is so important but I fail to be constant in it. Going for confession on novena last saturday really made me wake up. Instead of saying what my penance was, the priest asked directly, "Do you say your prayers daily?" And all I could say was a sheepish "I try to...". :p
I liken it to a relationship. With Jacques, I have to call or sms him everyday. This communication lets us know of how we feel, how our day has been, what's been bothering us. How can I say that I have no time for God? I felt really guilty thinking about it. Turning my back on the one who cares the most and shrugging Him off by saying I'm busy. Go save the world. Leave me alone. Or let me save myself.
Maybe it's the devil as well as my busy research life. But in the end, I know I have to come back to God, to find that peace within and to come back to the place where I truly belong. I know it's much easier for us to say it's impossible, it's difficult, we can't do it. But it's not a journey for us to go through on our own. It's one where Jesus walks with us, carries us and walks ahead of us. To believe and keep the faith is really something that we cannot boast about ourselves but to give back the praise to God. How easy it is in the world, to follow the idea that God is redundant and far away. To close our doors to the church for its backward and old fashioned ways. It is a struggle for me, especially when I face issues on sexuality, other religions, evolution, use of contraceptives... I end up questioning .. Is this really the true way?
Recently I have been trying to pick up daily prayer in my life. I'm taking slow and small steps. I set aside 15 mins to pray before I left the house one day, and God spoke to me through an article found the 'The Word Amongst Us'.
Just to quote:
It is Possible! All of us who have been baptized are set free from sin and filled with divine life. But without our daily decision to seek the Lord and to take hold of what we have received in baptism, this new life will remain either as a seed or as a fragile sapling. Only by making daily decisions to turn our lives to Jesus will we experience the grace and power that Gid has so generously given us in this sacrament of baptism.
It all ties in nicely doesn't it? What is blocking us from God? Most of the time we are the ones who keep Him at bay. Why? Why oh why especially when He loves us more than our fears or sins.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
There isn't a reason in the world....
(how come i'm blogging so much when I have exams!!)
There ain't no reason why we live this way, we work our whole lives trying to earn something and to be something, and wear our pay cheques like jewelry. We always carry a weapon with us, be it a bomb, a pin, or a knife. It can even be a sentence, a word, a thought. We build prisons just to fill them all, bombs to drop them all. You can spend your whole lives working for something, to have it taken it away.
I have no reason why we live this way, thats how they've always been, and thats how they will stay, but I know that His love will come set me free.
There ain't no reason why we live this way, we work our whole lives trying to earn something and to be something, and wear our pay cheques like jewelry. We always carry a weapon with us, be it a bomb, a pin, or a knife. It can even be a sentence, a word, a thought. We build prisons just to fill them all, bombs to drop them all. You can spend your whole lives working for something, to have it taken it away.
I have no reason why we live this way, thats how they've always been, and thats how they will stay, but I know that His love will come set me free.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Your grace, my calm.
Exams have officially begun.. yay.
Had my first paper today, and spent the hour before the paper at Church for benediction and spent some time praying before the bl. sacrament (down here no ado room one... want to pray before the bl. sacrament must come at a fixed time during the day)... only asking for one thing. Inner peace.
I asked him to take away everything from me... all the nonsense i'm-going-to-fail-my-exams miscellanous thoughts.. all my rubbish ramblings in my brain.. and everyhting that was currently distracting me from God (i.e chocolates, the yellow car, the silly white haired lady, and the occasional activist) .. For the few moments there, I had peace.
I am thankful I had the chance to go and spend time in silent prayer before my exam.. cus i went into my paper feeling rather refreshed and vigourated (so i drew my stratum contours and did my orientation calculations with much vigour!).
And I did it also because i felt compelled to... especially after reading this.
Its abit of a pain to read.. but it talks about one man's pain, and his struggle to regain control over his mind. How he speaks of personal determination, and his own will power.. and a journey of 7 years to overcome schizophrenia.
I am thankful that I have God to be by my side when i go wonky sometimes. I wish that man had God too.
Had my first paper today, and spent the hour before the paper at Church for benediction and spent some time praying before the bl. sacrament (down here no ado room one... want to pray before the bl. sacrament must come at a fixed time during the day)... only asking for one thing. Inner peace.
I asked him to take away everything from me... all the nonsense i'm-going-to-fail-my-exams miscellanous thoughts.. all my rubbish ramblings in my brain.. and everyhting that was currently distracting me from God (i.e chocolates, the yellow car, the silly white haired lady, and the occasional activist) .. For the few moments there, I had peace.
I am thankful I had the chance to go and spend time in silent prayer before my exam.. cus i went into my paper feeling rather refreshed and vigourated (so i drew my stratum contours and did my orientation calculations with much vigour!).
And I did it also because i felt compelled to... especially after reading this.
Its abit of a pain to read.. but it talks about one man's pain, and his struggle to regain control over his mind. How he speaks of personal determination, and his own will power.. and a journey of 7 years to overcome schizophrenia.
I am thankful that I have God to be by my side when i go wonky sometimes. I wish that man had God too.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
life is short
Hello...
Just cam back from a wake.. very sad.. best friend's friend committed suicide. Just 17 years old. Pray for her soul and family. Best friend is going through rough time as well.. places blame on herself.. Haiz.. Please keep my best friend in your prayers too.
On the lighter side, I chanced upon this cool website selling small cards with really great designs on bible verses. Well worth a look!
http://www.honeynmilk.com/showcase/
God bless
Just cam back from a wake.. very sad.. best friend's friend committed suicide. Just 17 years old. Pray for her soul and family. Best friend is going through rough time as well.. places blame on herself.. Haiz.. Please keep my best friend in your prayers too.
On the lighter side, I chanced upon this cool website selling small cards with really great designs on bible verses. Well worth a look!
http://www.honeynmilk.com/showcase/
God bless
Chin up! Better times are ahead!
Hello everyone!
How come so few sharings!? More!!
----
I just had a strange string of bad news.. Things not going well in school, mentally, spiritually, everything lah.. even left my stove on and happily went to work only to panic and call my flatmate to run to the kitchen to help me turn off the stove. what a muppet.
Then I read about Raymond's sharing with Rex band, and Collin's post on divine providence.. I somehow know that there are better days to come.. But yet.. "O thou of little faith, why dost thou doubt!?" says Jesus to Peter when they went pottering about in the water. Why can't I trust Him more?
It may sound like good news to some of you, but I was awfully devastated when I learnt that the British Geological Survey has decided not to hire me for summer. Oh brilliant, 2 months of anticipation, prayers and hope has come to naught. It felt like I had hit a brick wall of faeces and there was no way out. My friend's reaction was a simple: Devo! Trip home for summer!
Well, only if it were that simple.
Even though I hadn't gotten a job with BGS for summer, I am still going to stay here, I've additionally applied for 2 other jobs, one residential(anywhere in the UK), and one near where I live in Plymouth. The reason for such is simple.. I can't afford to come home on my own, and pride has gotten the better of me to be more self-sufficient. I am quite adamant that this is the way that things should be, at least for this summer, and come what may will be my slogan for thereafter.
Everytime I am talking to someone and the topic of summer comes up, and I am forced to say, "oh, i'm not going for summer", a part of me inside dies, and never grows back again.
Its amazing what kind of pain we like to put ourselves through init?
How come so few sharings!? More!!
----
I just had a strange string of bad news.. Things not going well in school, mentally, spiritually, everything lah.. even left my stove on and happily went to work only to panic and call my flatmate to run to the kitchen to help me turn off the stove. what a muppet.
Then I read about Raymond's sharing with Rex band, and Collin's post on divine providence.. I somehow know that there are better days to come.. But yet.. "O thou of little faith, why dost thou doubt!?" says Jesus to Peter when they went pottering about in the water. Why can't I trust Him more?
It may sound like good news to some of you, but I was awfully devastated when I learnt that the British Geological Survey has decided not to hire me for summer. Oh brilliant, 2 months of anticipation, prayers and hope has come to naught. It felt like I had hit a brick wall of faeces and there was no way out. My friend's reaction was a simple: Devo! Trip home for summer!
Well, only if it were that simple.
Even though I hadn't gotten a job with BGS for summer, I am still going to stay here, I've additionally applied for 2 other jobs, one residential(anywhere in the UK), and one near where I live in Plymouth. The reason for such is simple.. I can't afford to come home on my own, and pride has gotten the better of me to be more self-sufficient. I am quite adamant that this is the way that things should be, at least for this summer, and come what may will be my slogan for thereafter.
Everytime I am talking to someone and the topic of summer comes up, and I am forced to say, "oh, i'm not going for summer", a part of me inside dies, and never grows back again.
Its amazing what kind of pain we like to put ourselves through init?
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Leaving it to God
The ideal: John gets out of bed in the morning, goes on his knees, thanks God for the gift of today. He then hands the day back to God, asking God to take it and care for it, and to be with John, and all he does or says throughout the day.
- At nighttime, John goes on his knees again and says, "Thank you."
- And any time during the day, when John got anxious, afraid, flustered, worried, etc, he knew that that meant he was taking that part of the day back from God, and was holding himself responsible for it.
- At nighttime, John goes on his knees again and says, "Thank you."
- And any time during the day, when John got anxious, afraid, flustered, worried, etc, he knew that that meant he was taking that part of the day back from God, and was holding himself responsible for it.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Grace upon grace
I'm sorry have been MIA for so long!
Josh, we all go through how you feel. At least I can say for myself la, I understand what you mean about not being present to people.
My faith life took a turn after the YISS in 2001. From 2001 to 2005, I guess I have been earnestly trying to follow, love and serve the way Jesus instructs us to. There were times when I was doing things sincerely, and there were times when I could be listening to someone but not actually being there. Many times, I do things for the sake of doing them, following my faith not outta of love but blindly following the rules.
Things became worse in 2005 when I felt I did not belong and in a way, I developed a deep sense of loneliness. I admit this loneliness drove me into a rather foolish and impatient decision to be involved with someone in a relationship and really took the toil on both of us because of the numerous emotional baggages I carried. I'm sure some of you have listened to my sobs and cries. Thanks! *hugs* In a way, this is all God's plan. Today I am more open to my weaknesses and my faults and failings. I guess I have learnt to be more human and to love and accept myself. I learn to be thankful for what I have rather than being resentful. Most importantly, I'm learning to be happy, to take things less seriously and to step out of my "I can't do this" or "I can't take this" whinings.
I do slide back into my shell and get sucked into what Shireen once mentioned - the black hole theory. I guess what jolted me was that it's God and God alone who can change and transform a rock solid heart to one that is beating because it's full of love.
Was watching this mime by ICPE. Should show you guys on my comp. I was very touched when this verse was sung.
And it's not by might
Not by power
But by My spirit says the Lord
This is my message today from Galatians Chap 5
'Freedom is what we have - Christ has set us free! Stand, then, as free people, and do not allow yourselves to become slaves again.'
May we pray for the strength to let go of our pride and let God's grace build us up into free men and women.
Praise God!
Josh, we all go through how you feel. At least I can say for myself la, I understand what you mean about not being present to people.
My faith life took a turn after the YISS in 2001. From 2001 to 2005, I guess I have been earnestly trying to follow, love and serve the way Jesus instructs us to. There were times when I was doing things sincerely, and there were times when I could be listening to someone but not actually being there. Many times, I do things for the sake of doing them, following my faith not outta of love but blindly following the rules.
Things became worse in 2005 when I felt I did not belong and in a way, I developed a deep sense of loneliness. I admit this loneliness drove me into a rather foolish and impatient decision to be involved with someone in a relationship and really took the toil on both of us because of the numerous emotional baggages I carried. I'm sure some of you have listened to my sobs and cries. Thanks! *hugs* In a way, this is all God's plan. Today I am more open to my weaknesses and my faults and failings. I guess I have learnt to be more human and to love and accept myself. I learn to be thankful for what I have rather than being resentful. Most importantly, I'm learning to be happy, to take things less seriously and to step out of my "I can't do this" or "I can't take this" whinings.
I do slide back into my shell and get sucked into what Shireen once mentioned - the black hole theory. I guess what jolted me was that it's God and God alone who can change and transform a rock solid heart to one that is beating because it's full of love.
Was watching this mime by ICPE. Should show you guys on my comp. I was very touched when this verse was sung.
And it's not by might
Not by power
But by My spirit says the Lord
This is my message today from Galatians Chap 5
'Freedom is what we have - Christ has set us free! Stand, then, as free people, and do not allow yourselves to become slaves again.'
May we pray for the strength to let go of our pride and let God's grace build us up into free men and women.
Praise God!
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
The Trinity. But which three?
Jesus asked me if i have been faithful to him and been keeping his commandments. I gave a quick ans 'Yes' But the more i look deeper i realise that i have failed terribly... Love your God with all your HEART with all your soul and with all your might. The second love your neighbour as you love yourself.
I know i havent been loving wholeheartedly all along. And my love to others is limited and a very selfish one. With myself as priority and others as secondary. My sorrows my joys my struggles are of high importance. Others are only but theirs, non of my concern. I may go for sharings and heard peoples struggles but how often am i truely concern for these people. How often do i share in his or her sorrows and joys and being there for them. In my prayers daily, their names are mentioned. Not a single one left out, but of all of these names, how many have i truely cared for and for loved... To love is to give yourself wholeheartedly to others. Denying oneself for the love of others. To be compassionate and be sensitive to their feelings and always ready to go out of my way for them.
This pose a great challenge for me to love. Love that requires no expectation and no return and no reciprocation. A love not just extended to family but friends(for my case) and strangers even enemies! The love between the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is one of self sacrifice. But the love between me, myself and I ( my trinity) is one of selfish desires and self gratifications.
I begin my journey today renewed once again with the hope to love with all my heart. To love God so as to love neighbour. To love neighbour so as to love God. I pray that i will stop looking at my life as high importance but to be a slave of love, the love that brings hope to all of you my friends whom i call brothers and sisters.
josh
I know i havent been loving wholeheartedly all along. And my love to others is limited and a very selfish one. With myself as priority and others as secondary. My sorrows my joys my struggles are of high importance. Others are only but theirs, non of my concern. I may go for sharings and heard peoples struggles but how often am i truely concern for these people. How often do i share in his or her sorrows and joys and being there for them. In my prayers daily, their names are mentioned. Not a single one left out, but of all of these names, how many have i truely cared for and for loved... To love is to give yourself wholeheartedly to others. Denying oneself for the love of others. To be compassionate and be sensitive to their feelings and always ready to go out of my way for them.
This pose a great challenge for me to love. Love that requires no expectation and no return and no reciprocation. A love not just extended to family but friends(for my case) and strangers even enemies! The love between the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is one of self sacrifice. But the love between me, myself and I ( my trinity) is one of selfish desires and self gratifications.
I begin my journey today renewed once again with the hope to love with all my heart. To love God so as to love neighbour. To love neighbour so as to love God. I pray that i will stop looking at my life as high importance but to be a slave of love, the love that brings hope to all of you my friends whom i call brothers and sisters.
josh
Drama mama
Hello seedlings..
Yes I am back from a long time in Malaysia. Hope the people in Bangkok are having fun!
Anyway, just an idea.. Have been reading Acts recently because after Easter, mass readings are all from Acts. I just thought it would be pretty cool to have drama productions on bible stories or with underlying Christian message. It's just one of the creative ways of evangelising that can be pushed further in our community. Im not super psyched up for this but I think it's worth looking into.
This might be an idea that dies away or one that is fruitful. So if any of you guys have feedback or more bright sparks we can always talk about it. :)
Maybe we can learn the smooth moves from Avalon Testify to Love song.. hehe ;p
Yes I am back from a long time in Malaysia. Hope the people in Bangkok are having fun!
Anyway, just an idea.. Have been reading Acts recently because after Easter, mass readings are all from Acts. I just thought it would be pretty cool to have drama productions on bible stories or with underlying Christian message. It's just one of the creative ways of evangelising that can be pushed further in our community. Im not super psyched up for this but I think it's worth looking into.
This might be an idea that dies away or one that is fruitful. So if any of you guys have feedback or more bright sparks we can always talk about it. :)
Maybe we can learn the smooth moves from Avalon Testify to Love song.. hehe ;p
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Let all mortal flesh keep silence.
Hello! How come nobody blogging anything!?
Nevermind. I blog almost all the time anyway.. and I don't have exams, yet.
----
Today at mass, the Communion Hymn was a very olde Greek hymn, called Let all mortal flesh keep silence.
Let all mortal flesh keep silence
and with fear and trembling stand,
ponder nothing earthly-minded:
for with blessing in his hand,
Christ our God on earth descendeth,
our full homage to demand.
So the story goes, things have not been going well recently, alot of confusion, questions, head/heart aches, and in general alot of restlessness.
Many evenings before retiring to bed, I found myself praying for a peaceful heart, to be able to tide over this period smoothly and comfortably and quickly enough to get back on my own feet and roam the world again.
Today at mass, this song provided me the opportunity, it was like saying to me, Be still! and know that I am here, keep your mind away from your earthly troubles! For when I have called your name, you are mine.
So often, when we have our little problems or when we end up in a knot we just wail WHy God! why!! And we so often seek things like peace and solace and graces from Him in order to tide us through. So often, we forget that the power and strength to overcome all these, is within us.
We already have encountered God in our personal and special ways, thats why we are here, in His Church. And by worshipping Him, I know that by His time, He will lead me away from my troubles.
So for now, things may seem alright, but I know that things will be eventually better, someday.
King of kings, yet born of Mary,
as of old on earth he stood.
Lord of Lords in human vesture
in the Body and the Blood.
He will give to all the faithful
His own Self for heavenly food.
Rank on rank the host of Heaven
spreads it vanguard on the way,
as the Light of Light descendeth
from the realms of endless day,
that the powers of hell may vanish
as the darkness clears away.
At his feet the six-winged Seraph;
Cherubim with sleepless eye,
veil their faces to the Presence,
as with ceaseless voice they cry,
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Alleluia! Lord most high.
Nevermind. I blog almost all the time anyway.. and I don't have exams, yet.
----
Today at mass, the Communion Hymn was a very olde Greek hymn, called Let all mortal flesh keep silence.
Let all mortal flesh keep silence
and with fear and trembling stand,
ponder nothing earthly-minded:
for with blessing in his hand,
Christ our God on earth descendeth,
our full homage to demand.
So the story goes, things have not been going well recently, alot of confusion, questions, head/heart aches, and in general alot of restlessness.
Many evenings before retiring to bed, I found myself praying for a peaceful heart, to be able to tide over this period smoothly and comfortably and quickly enough to get back on my own feet and roam the world again.
Today at mass, this song provided me the opportunity, it was like saying to me, Be still! and know that I am here, keep your mind away from your earthly troubles! For when I have called your name, you are mine.
So often, when we have our little problems or when we end up in a knot we just wail WHy God! why!! And we so often seek things like peace and solace and graces from Him in order to tide us through. So often, we forget that the power and strength to overcome all these, is within us.
We already have encountered God in our personal and special ways, thats why we are here, in His Church. And by worshipping Him, I know that by His time, He will lead me away from my troubles.
So for now, things may seem alright, but I know that things will be eventually better, someday.
King of kings, yet born of Mary,
as of old on earth he stood.
Lord of Lords in human vesture
in the Body and the Blood.
He will give to all the faithful
His own Self for heavenly food.
Rank on rank the host of Heaven
spreads it vanguard on the way,
as the Light of Light descendeth
from the realms of endless day,
that the powers of hell may vanish
as the darkness clears away.
At his feet the six-winged Seraph;
Cherubim with sleepless eye,
veil their faces to the Presence,
as with ceaseless voice they cry,
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Alleluia! Lord most high.
Monday, April 23, 2007
You know you gotta help me out.
Hello everyone!
Hadn't read the blogs in a long time cus i was in Devon doing my mapping project for 1 week, and in some places of England, internet is more difficult to get then catching a leprechaun. It was quite good, other then the last 2 days where I found myself ravaged by the effects of being totally knackered, and also emotionally lopsidded becus of certain events that left me very drained and not a very happy geologist.
---
I went for mass today, after missing mass last week because i was in Brixham, and I couldn't get to church because my transportation to my mapping and study location leaves at silly o'clock, and I don't return until sunset usually.
Then again, thinking back of the entire lent, I probably missed countless masses over the weeks of so called reflection.
The thing is, I struggled within myself to justify me missing mass because I spent many a weekend not in Manchester, and instead, am in some farm in the countryside approximately at least a 20 min drive from any kind of civilisation, don't even talk about church. I found it hard to reconcile my justification with my desire and passion, which was the country, nature, and rocks.
I found so slowly yet drastically being drawn into this abhoral vortex for the love of green, space, and soil, addicted and humbled by the vastness of a simple being in the eloquent rolling hills.
I could not see why I wanted to go for mass instead. Yet, I could not even believe myself trying to justify missing mass.
This sordid affair began shortly after Ash Wednesday.
Today, I went for mass. I went for it not because it was an obligation, but because there I was in this vastness experienced, I realised that I was in my very own way, worshiping the very same God that has created my experience, the beauty of this space, the very creation of nature, and the epitome of beauty. I cannot but feel sad that I felt this way knowing the doctrinal variation my new found beliefs posed.
Yet as human and at the same time divine as the celebration of the Holy Eucharist can be, I realised how much it meant to me to recognise the man in Christ that I did once fall madly head over heels with.
With the advent of events human and as uncontrolled as what I have experienced in the past week, I still feel the inevitable hunger for the loving graces of God.
I am but a feeble man, with nothing to offer, only my arms in upward supplication for His graces, and my tongue held in offering to sing His praises in eternity.
You know you gotta help me out.
Hadn't read the blogs in a long time cus i was in Devon doing my mapping project for 1 week, and in some places of England, internet is more difficult to get then catching a leprechaun. It was quite good, other then the last 2 days where I found myself ravaged by the effects of being totally knackered, and also emotionally lopsidded becus of certain events that left me very drained and not a very happy geologist.
---
I went for mass today, after missing mass last week because i was in Brixham, and I couldn't get to church because my transportation to my mapping and study location leaves at silly o'clock, and I don't return until sunset usually.
Then again, thinking back of the entire lent, I probably missed countless masses over the weeks of so called reflection.
The thing is, I struggled within myself to justify me missing mass because I spent many a weekend not in Manchester, and instead, am in some farm in the countryside approximately at least a 20 min drive from any kind of civilisation, don't even talk about church. I found it hard to reconcile my justification with my desire and passion, which was the country, nature, and rocks.
I found so slowly yet drastically being drawn into this abhoral vortex for the love of green, space, and soil, addicted and humbled by the vastness of a simple being in the eloquent rolling hills.
I could not see why I wanted to go for mass instead. Yet, I could not even believe myself trying to justify missing mass.
This sordid affair began shortly after Ash Wednesday.
Today, I went for mass. I went for it not because it was an obligation, but because there I was in this vastness experienced, I realised that I was in my very own way, worshiping the very same God that has created my experience, the beauty of this space, the very creation of nature, and the epitome of beauty. I cannot but feel sad that I felt this way knowing the doctrinal variation my new found beliefs posed.
Yet as human and at the same time divine as the celebration of the Holy Eucharist can be, I realised how much it meant to me to recognise the man in Christ that I did once fall madly head over heels with.
With the advent of events human and as uncontrolled as what I have experienced in the past week, I still feel the inevitable hunger for the loving graces of God.
I am but a feeble man, with nothing to offer, only my arms in upward supplication for His graces, and my tongue held in offering to sing His praises in eternity.
You know you gotta help me out.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
The Four Wives
Harlow, been busy studying.... but just wanna tell ya guys a story....
Once upon a time, there was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
He loved his 2nd wife, too. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!" Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart.
The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!"
The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave."
The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.
"The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!"
We all have 4 wives in our lives. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material wealth and sensual pleasure. It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than wait until we're on our death bed to lament.
Hope this story inspires all of us in our journey of life. Reminding us yet again of what is truly important in our lives and to take stock of how each of us are leading our lives. You can either allow the situations of life to put you into perspective or you can put the situations in your life into perspective. Hope it makes sense. Pray.....
josh
Once upon a time, there was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
He loved his 2nd wife, too. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!" Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart.
The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!"
The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave."
The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.
"The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!"
We all have 4 wives in our lives. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material wealth and sensual pleasure. It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than wait until we're on our death bed to lament.
Hope this story inspires all of us in our journey of life. Reminding us yet again of what is truly important in our lives and to take stock of how each of us are leading our lives. You can either allow the situations of life to put you into perspective or you can put the situations in your life into perspective. Hope it makes sense. Pray.....
josh
Monday, April 16, 2007
Life of faith and life of hope
Stressed over exams! cos i dun have time to finish what i need to study...hai sorry for not updating hee.... anyway since its overdue i have two short sharings hee...
Been struggling with my self-righteousness and my pride, esp when i talk to people in trying to challenge them. I am reminded today again during mass that affirmation was also very important in our 'fraternal corrections'. i realise i am very stingy with my words of encouragement and affirmations but very generous with reprimanding people in small of big ways...hai it is yet another call to peel off another layer of myself and so in my dying Christ may live in me.... I guess its that hope that we are called to bring so in words of affirmations and encouragements we bring hope to others...I pray that i may be humble in my words not to be a hypocrite but to be a Christian!
Second sharing its abt weaknesses.... You know i think the greatest struggle for one is the ability to accept ones weaknesses. We all have weaknesses but how many of us can accept them? I fear judgement from others and i am unable to accept my weakness and more so accept that the community still loves me for who i am. Very often, i struggle with the fact that i am imperfect ad that in community my imperfections become more evident and how i think that others cannot love me... But i know that to begin with, i cannot love myself.
Maybe when we have affirmation sessions, we shdn't jus say the good of others but also the weaknesses of others and also the acknowledgement that we are able to love and accept him or her for her weaknesses. I think that for me will be the greatest affirmation! The knowledge of being accepted! But i know i have to begin with loving me first.....Pray on my brothers and sisters! cut off from Jesus and we can do nothing.....
P.S: for any prayer intentions just email to the link on the blog and it will be lifted up during the intercessory every 1st and 3rd thurs of the month @830 in church. Join us pls!!!!!! we need support! hee
Been struggling with my self-righteousness and my pride, esp when i talk to people in trying to challenge them. I am reminded today again during mass that affirmation was also very important in our 'fraternal corrections'. i realise i am very stingy with my words of encouragement and affirmations but very generous with reprimanding people in small of big ways...hai it is yet another call to peel off another layer of myself and so in my dying Christ may live in me.... I guess its that hope that we are called to bring so in words of affirmations and encouragements we bring hope to others...I pray that i may be humble in my words not to be a hypocrite but to be a Christian!
Second sharing its abt weaknesses.... You know i think the greatest struggle for one is the ability to accept ones weaknesses. We all have weaknesses but how many of us can accept them? I fear judgement from others and i am unable to accept my weakness and more so accept that the community still loves me for who i am. Very often, i struggle with the fact that i am imperfect ad that in community my imperfections become more evident and how i think that others cannot love me... But i know that to begin with, i cannot love myself.
Maybe when we have affirmation sessions, we shdn't jus say the good of others but also the weaknesses of others and also the acknowledgement that we are able to love and accept him or her for her weaknesses. I think that for me will be the greatest affirmation! The knowledge of being accepted! But i know i have to begin with loving me first.....Pray on my brothers and sisters! cut off from Jesus and we can do nothing.....
P.S: for any prayer intentions just email to the link on the blog and it will be lifted up during the intercessory every 1st and 3rd thurs of the month @830 in church. Join us pls!!!!!! we need support! hee
Sunday, April 8, 2007
New!!
'He is risen'
http://www.heqigallery.com/index.htm
Alright, Melt reminded me to blog in this.
Today's Easter mass was really nice, children leading the way. All the lectors, wardens, psalmists became shorter and sweeter. And the homily was really simple. The whole point of easter is not about holidays, bunnies or eggs. It's about Jesus. It was a little toned down for the children, like watching a 'Hi-5!' show, but I think it's really impiortant even as 'adults' to come back to one simple reason for everything. Jesus. Name above all names.
The best part of the mass was when the children swarmed to the front after Father said they were distributing chocolates. Hehe.
Anyway, I read Catholic News and as usual, I head straight for my Father Rolheiser Column. His topic wsa on 'Overcoming Hypersensitivity'. It was a good article and I think people in our community are like this. Being humans, we are sensitive even when we put up front that we are not. Everyone bruises easily. Simply by not saying Hi or just the tone of your voice can reflect just how much you value a person or your conversation with him or her.
He speaks of a petty soul and a generous soul. One day you feel like Jesus, the next day you feel like Judas. It's confusing isn't it? The challenge he puts across is to overcome our hypersensitivity and see it as something to be converted from so that we can be resilient to absorb the bumps and bruises of verday living.
Quoting from Daniel Barrigan (dunno who this is), "If Jesus came back today he would go into every counselling office in the world and drive out both the doctors and their clients with the words, ' Take up your couch and walk! You don't have to be this sensitive!'".
In my life, I am seeking to be resilient in the little insults, negativities, insensitivities I face in my family, with my friends, in my work and sometimes even in my relationship. Becoming tougher does not necessarily mean becoming cynical and less compassionate. I think it's just another way for placing less focus on yourself and looking at the bigger picture in life. Life is new everyday when we choose to let our resentment flow away from us and appreciate the freshness of the air, the morning sunshine, the love shown to us in the smallest of ways.
Guess everyone in community is living more individual lives, which to me is inevitable since we are of an age that is making serious decisions with family, friends, career. But my hope is that we may take sometime to offer a listening ear to others, a warm smile to those who have been away. For us still buried in our graves, pray for the strength to rise again into the newness of life.
Alleluia!
Friday, April 6, 2007
Remembering what comes first.
Hello all!
Just returned from Maundy Thursday mass at church. It was a starkingly haunting and beautiful mass.
During Gloria acclamation, when the bells rung out, it felt so much like SFX when I had my eyes closed.. It was so strange.. I felt sooooooooooo home sick when that happened.. It was a terror. I thought I was going to die of homesickness. : (
Throughout mass, I couldn't help but think how evil my Lent has been.. Broken my abstinence, missed mass, whatever you can think of.. I probably did it (Ok. maybe not so bad). I felt really horrible thinking of how I have failed Jesus, and how I was such a failure in being a Catholic. Everything that has got to do with my spiritual life wasn't exactly going right.
Then, during Homily, Fr Ray spoke about the lenten season, on how this period is for us to renew our Baptismal vows, and remind ourselves of our connection with Christ.. THat this being the Jewish New Year (Passover), it should be ours too, to renew our faith in Christ, and also to rejuvenate ourselves for the coming year.
There and then, it was obvious that it was a call to throw embrace my faults and learn from them. How I turned away when I was called, how I so easily forgot the importance of it all. It was pretty surreal.
Then after Mass, when we had the exposition at the Altar of repose, I went over to kneel and pray. When i closed my eyes, I swear it felt as if I was back in SFX, exactly as it was 1 year ago. It was so strange. My back started aching like hell, it was going crazy with pain, just like it was 1 year ago. I couldn't concentrate while praying, and it was horrible. I closed my eyes, and very very strangely, I felt as if I had Jeannette sitting to my right, and Betty on my left, exactly as it was 1 year ago.. I couldn't pray, and I also couldn't cry. All I had was pain.
Then 6 words came. Be Still, and know that I'm there.
You tell me how to not cry.
I have a strong feeling its going to be a great easter.
My back still hurts like mad, and i've decided to go see a doctor on monday (finally!).
Just returned from Maundy Thursday mass at church. It was a starkingly haunting and beautiful mass.
During Gloria acclamation, when the bells rung out, it felt so much like SFX when I had my eyes closed.. It was so strange.. I felt sooooooooooo home sick when that happened.. It was a terror. I thought I was going to die of homesickness. : (
Throughout mass, I couldn't help but think how evil my Lent has been.. Broken my abstinence, missed mass, whatever you can think of.. I probably did it (Ok. maybe not so bad). I felt really horrible thinking of how I have failed Jesus, and how I was such a failure in being a Catholic. Everything that has got to do with my spiritual life wasn't exactly going right.
Then, during Homily, Fr Ray spoke about the lenten season, on how this period is for us to renew our Baptismal vows, and remind ourselves of our connection with Christ.. THat this being the Jewish New Year (Passover), it should be ours too, to renew our faith in Christ, and also to rejuvenate ourselves for the coming year.
There and then, it was obvious that it was a call to throw embrace my faults and learn from them. How I turned away when I was called, how I so easily forgot the importance of it all. It was pretty surreal.
Then after Mass, when we had the exposition at the Altar of repose, I went over to kneel and pray. When i closed my eyes, I swear it felt as if I was back in SFX, exactly as it was 1 year ago. It was so strange. My back started aching like hell, it was going crazy with pain, just like it was 1 year ago. I couldn't concentrate while praying, and it was horrible. I closed my eyes, and very very strangely, I felt as if I had Jeannette sitting to my right, and Betty on my left, exactly as it was 1 year ago.. I couldn't pray, and I also couldn't cry. All I had was pain.
Then 6 words came. Be Still, and know that I'm there.
You tell me how to not cry.
I have a strong feeling its going to be a great easter.
My back still hurts like mad, and i've decided to go see a doctor on monday (finally!).
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Faith of Convenience or Inconvenient Faith?
Yesterday as i was laying in bed half awake, it dawned unto me how my faith may be out of convenience, serving God out of comfort and only to a limit where i am willing to. I realise that doing things that follows the church's norm may not realise its fullness if there is not transformation taking place in our hearts.
Going for sunday mass, saying my prayers at night, going for daily mass. Going for a bible study class or sharing group. Maybe talking to people abt God, or helping the poor. These above mention is Good in nature and in fact what we all shd do. But the question is, are we feeling comfortable with doing all these and getting too used to them? Meaning, are these "stuff" we do just out of convenience, out of our own comforts or even habits?
What really struck me was that am i getting too comfortable?! What is an Inconvenient Faith then? It is a faith that rips us apart! tears our garments and kills us! haha sounds scary? An inconvenient faith is one that challenges us to do what we do out of our norms, and comforts. One that causes us to struggle in giving because its something that we are not willing to. Going out of our way for people, for service and for building God's Kingdom. Die to thy self so that we will rise with him. By dying, we lose ourselves so that Jesus will rise in us. Only then can transformation take place. I am sure we are very familiar with this phrase but how many of us "die" in our daily lifes?
Now the challenge i pose for myself this that if i get too comfortable with my life and with the things i do then there must be something wrong with my spiritual life. Either i am not growing or i am complacent. Maybe then my faith has been one of convenience after all....
josh
Going for sunday mass, saying my prayers at night, going for daily mass. Going for a bible study class or sharing group. Maybe talking to people abt God, or helping the poor. These above mention is Good in nature and in fact what we all shd do. But the question is, are we feeling comfortable with doing all these and getting too used to them? Meaning, are these "stuff" we do just out of convenience, out of our own comforts or even habits?
What really struck me was that am i getting too comfortable?! What is an Inconvenient Faith then? It is a faith that rips us apart! tears our garments and kills us! haha sounds scary? An inconvenient faith is one that challenges us to do what we do out of our norms, and comforts. One that causes us to struggle in giving because its something that we are not willing to. Going out of our way for people, for service and for building God's Kingdom. Die to thy self so that we will rise with him. By dying, we lose ourselves so that Jesus will rise in us. Only then can transformation take place. I am sure we are very familiar with this phrase but how many of us "die" in our daily lifes?
Now the challenge i pose for myself this that if i get too comfortable with my life and with the things i do then there must be something wrong with my spiritual life. Either i am not growing or i am complacent. Maybe then my faith has been one of convenience after all....
josh
A different experience of reconciling my relationship with JESUS
Should I sound incoherent or don't make sense at any time, it's cos I'm writing this at work (yes, i shouldn't be doing so but the reports are boring me to tears!) and I need to be chop chop so I can get back to work heh.
Firstly, PRAISE GOD for shepherding us in our journey as community!!! How clearly I remember the time when MSC was facing a time of uncertainty: when our brothers and sister left (physically) to further build God's kingdom, when our place in the parish seemed precarious and when we seemed directionless. How God has led us to eventually forming a core team today... God is truly faithful and amazing!
Secondly, I think this blog is a good avenue for deeper sharing in our cell! Personally, I don't like the new arrangement where we've sharings on Sun before/after/during session... Not very conducive cos many a times I just want to rush through it or worst still not have sharing so we can all leave earlier! N everyone's so busy... Meeting up on another day to have our sharing isn't as feasible as THIS! Haha...
Thirdly (this is what I wanna share about actually), after going for Penetential last night, I felt a deep sense of calm and peace, light-heartedness, and was also reminded of God's compassion and love for me. You see, I've always struggled with going to priests whom I know or know me for confession. Somehow I consciously feel that they'll judge me and see me in a different light cos of my sins. I know they don't and won't but it's my own perception and I can't really help it... So last night when we couldn't really choose who we wanted to go to and the priests hearing confessions on my side were Fr Luke and Fr Bryan, I couldn't help but feel less eager to go up. And as I was queuing up, I secretly hoped I would end up at 2 the other 2 priests. But of course, like in previous expreiences, I'll always end up with who I don't want to go to! N once again, it was Fr Luke... But I praise and thank God for that experience becos through Fr Luke, I was shown of how compassionate God is! I can't really explain it but yes, God forgives and doesn't look at you in a different light no matter how far away we stray from him or how grave our mistakes may be. In the simple things that Fr. said, I was once again invited to be different. To be different from what the world deems as right or ok... It has been a long time since reconciliation was something really impactful in my walk. N in the final days leading to our Lord's passion, I'm heartened simply by the fact that this Lent was meaningful. Meaningful becos he gave me the chance to experience that intimate reconciliation with Him! Even though I wasn't in the desert with Jesus the past 40 days, I'm conforted that this Lent didn't just pass me by...
Thank you Jesus! =)
Firstly, PRAISE GOD for shepherding us in our journey as community!!! How clearly I remember the time when MSC was facing a time of uncertainty: when our brothers and sister left (physically) to further build God's kingdom, when our place in the parish seemed precarious and when we seemed directionless. How God has led us to eventually forming a core team today... God is truly faithful and amazing!
Secondly, I think this blog is a good avenue for deeper sharing in our cell! Personally, I don't like the new arrangement where we've sharings on Sun before/after/during session... Not very conducive cos many a times I just want to rush through it or worst still not have sharing so we can all leave earlier! N everyone's so busy... Meeting up on another day to have our sharing isn't as feasible as THIS! Haha...
Thirdly (this is what I wanna share about actually), after going for Penetential last night, I felt a deep sense of calm and peace, light-heartedness, and was also reminded of God's compassion and love for me. You see, I've always struggled with going to priests whom I know or know me for confession. Somehow I consciously feel that they'll judge me and see me in a different light cos of my sins. I know they don't and won't but it's my own perception and I can't really help it... So last night when we couldn't really choose who we wanted to go to and the priests hearing confessions on my side were Fr Luke and Fr Bryan, I couldn't help but feel less eager to go up. And as I was queuing up, I secretly hoped I would end up at 2 the other 2 priests. But of course, like in previous expreiences, I'll always end up with who I don't want to go to! N once again, it was Fr Luke... But I praise and thank God for that experience becos through Fr Luke, I was shown of how compassionate God is! I can't really explain it but yes, God forgives and doesn't look at you in a different light no matter how far away we stray from him or how grave our mistakes may be. In the simple things that Fr. said, I was once again invited to be different. To be different from what the world deems as right or ok... It has been a long time since reconciliation was something really impactful in my walk. N in the final days leading to our Lord's passion, I'm heartened simply by the fact that this Lent was meaningful. Meaningful becos he gave me the chance to experience that intimate reconciliation with Him! Even though I wasn't in the desert with Jesus the past 40 days, I'm conforted that this Lent didn't just pass me by...
Thank you Jesus! =)
Monday, April 2, 2007
Church and Us?
Hello everybody! This is my first post! How exciting! I just got back to Manchester from visiting ENL in Helsinki.
It was a brilliant trip, can check out the pics on my blog when i'm sufficiently un-lazified to do something substantial.
There was some drama involved (as with every trip anyone in community takes) and well.. my drama was rather costly. Another story for another time. : (
Anyway.
Being away from community and everything, it really just emerges how easy peasy it is to stray so so so far away from God! Sunday Mass doesn't seem to take an important place in my weekly schedule, and well, praying. Don't even talk about it.
I still remember telling Kenny Seah dun worry, nothing will happen one.. everything will be the same. But its quite interesting to look in the mirror, and realize, how much I've changed in terms of my attitude towards God.
Now in this Holy week, I feel such a great sense of regret and desire for reconcilliation (i have no idea why, and i think its strange). But i don't know how long will it last before I slip so easily and comfortably into the abyss of this self-proclaimed secular nation which abandoned God. Which I suspect could well be soon.
So as i journey, alone in this wilderness for the next 6 days, the final sprint, the final hike, and the final burst, pray for all those without support and are struggling alone wherever they are. Those who cannot be reached by the ailing grasp of the church, and those who are slipping away.
Lent for me.. will always be a painful reminder of our own human mortality built on the slender supplication of His salvation. What are we, without Him?
I crave chye tao kuey. someone tah pao for me. please?
It was a brilliant trip, can check out the pics on my blog when i'm sufficiently un-lazified to do something substantial.
There was some drama involved (as with every trip anyone in community takes) and well.. my drama was rather costly. Another story for another time. : (
Anyway.
Being away from community and everything, it really just emerges how easy peasy it is to stray so so so far away from God! Sunday Mass doesn't seem to take an important place in my weekly schedule, and well, praying. Don't even talk about it.
I still remember telling Kenny Seah dun worry, nothing will happen one.. everything will be the same. But its quite interesting to look in the mirror, and realize, how much I've changed in terms of my attitude towards God.
Now in this Holy week, I feel such a great sense of regret and desire for reconcilliation (i have no idea why, and i think its strange). But i don't know how long will it last before I slip so easily and comfortably into the abyss of this self-proclaimed secular nation which abandoned God. Which I suspect could well be soon.
So as i journey, alone in this wilderness for the next 6 days, the final sprint, the final hike, and the final burst, pray for all those without support and are struggling alone wherever they are. Those who cannot be reached by the ailing grasp of the church, and those who are slipping away.
Lent for me.. will always be a painful reminder of our own human mortality built on the slender supplication of His salvation. What are we, without Him?
I crave chye tao kuey. someone tah pao for me. please?
Holy Week!
I can't believe its Holy Week already. I shared that I struggle to be indifferent to Lent, and Holy week is no different I mean, it comes every year doesn't it? And we're going to watch The Passion. Again. I admit I wasn't all that excited hearing about our Holy week plans.
I pick up on what Colin said, that he believed that every time we watch it, we gain new insights from it. I was reading a friend's blog about how he feels that time and memories are just moving in a flux, and if we don't grab on to them, we'll miss it.
This ancient greek dude called Herodotus once said: "No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man".
Are we ever the same person twice? Brings to mind the song "Who Am I":
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
I pray I don't let Holy week pass me by without me challenging myself to grow deeper in love.
Melt.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
the me within me
Today i have passed a comment that was totally uncalled for. I has i think back about it, i realised how insensitive and arrogant i am. Pride and self-righteousness are my greatest struggles and how hard I try to lost them, it remains in me. And i realise the more i get in touch in myself the more i realise how dirty and ugly i am inside of me. I try and try but they remain there. I dislike the loud, insensitive and uncompassionate joshua. I cant seem to lose them even as i try to offer them up to Jesus. Jesus help me!!!!!! i wanna abandon myself! Troubled, i pray that i may lose myself and find Jesus in me.
josh
josh
Holiness is in living an ordinary life, in a community of fellow-disciples, with extraordinary love
This time tmr, MSC will officially have embarked on a new chapter of our community living. Many of us are still in some way or another unsure or hesitant of the way of life in community. For some we might have forgotten what it means to be living in community. For others, we are still very much in the introduction stage or trying to grapple with this new way of life. Whatever stage we are at right now, it really doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because Jesus comes and take us where we are! Thats the beauty of our God!
And without this Jesus, nothing can sustain us, not even this new core team! The core team will still be another committee. Therefore it is only when each our us SEEDLINGS take God seriously in our lifes, no conversion can take place in our hearts! And this really calls for a life of holiness that we all are called to seek!
Right now it really scares me how tough it is to be Holy. I know that with God's strength it is never impossible. But God's graces can only take place if we response to it. Today, i it really dawned unto me that i really need Jesus, and i really need to pray! Cos the moment i lose sight of him, i begin to compromise and every little bit, i allow myself to fall into sin. Bit by bit, little by little, i have compromise a big part of me. And after time i begin to lose every part of myself. Thats exactly what is happening to the world today, and very evident in MSC too. Brothers and sisters be constantly on your toes for you will not know the hour when the theft will come and steal from you.
josh
Friday, March 30, 2007
hee.... short sharing
This is what i got from a book i am reading, Prayer and Common Sense by Thomas H. Green, S.J. "The men i admired so much(and they were admirable) were trying too hard- trying to scale the mountain by their own intense effort. That is why they appeared so impressive. But in the end human nature rebelled. The effort to "do it for God" quickly and totally, was too much too fast. The timetable and projects were theirs, not the Lord's.
Its a reminder for me now that in all i all its really his work not mine. Haha gots lots to share! God is really amazing! but i got a test tmr got to do work. Hee will share more soon.
PS: Pls feel free to ask for my login username and password to edit the blog layout, haha i am real bad at this.
josh
Its a reminder for me now that in all i all its really his work not mine. Haha gots lots to share! God is really amazing! but i got a test tmr got to do work. Hee will share more soon.
PS: Pls feel free to ask for my login username and password to edit the blog layout, haha i am real bad at this.
josh
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Spiritual Oprah
Nope, that's not a spelling error in the title. I wasn't intending to type 'Opera' in the sense of genre of music, but really, the Oprah Winfrey talkshow. Okay I admit to watching it, and it's actually damn interesting - not always about ditsy stuff.
Anway, today's episode featured this family (Catholic) who had lost a 14-year-old son in a plane crash. The mother was talking about her process of grieving, and how she was determined not to be angry and bitter at God. And how in that it had really helped the family get through in the healing process.
One thing she said really struck me. She said that in times of struggle, she found it important to remember that 'We are not human beings in a spiritual experience; We are spiritual beings in a human experience.'
Powerful isn't it.
I think it really applies to me in many ways. Today I went for the Penitential Service at IHM. The short powerpoint presentation they showed made me reflect on how my Lent had been, and I realised that I've been struggling how not to be indifferent to this season. Stuff at school and my final sem research paper have been convenient excuses to not take a deeper step into my faith this season. 
But really, I was stuck in the mindset that I was fully human and in that sense, was given the "permission" to slack off. It's really a challenge to acknowledge my identity as a child of God, a "spiritual being" who has to deal with "human experiences" everyday, yet has the opportunity to always turn back to Jesus at the end of it.
Melt.
My job here solely was to edit the template and try to work out a tag board and links to the other blogs..but looking at the javascript just now made me realise how rusty i am. So, i'll try to do it later...or perhaps get another person to do it.
But reading your post, prompted me to make some reflections of my own. And as much as i belong to another cell group, i will be thick-skinned enough to make this small 'intrusion'. :)
Our inadequacy constantly prompts us to make wild judgments about ourselves and others. It is important to note that inferiority goes hand in hand with a certain self-righteousness- we feel indignant about things that happen simply because we attach that particular thing to our self worth. In this case, it is nomination? In another, it could be affirmation. Yet in another it could be something else. But point is, simply, let nothing or no one be the measure of who you are. This is not nihilistic or buddhistic in perspective. This is simply, christian. Our measure, as our worth, must be that from God. We are who we are because He is Who Is.
Also, let us understand the heart of the matter in leadership, is really whether the leader's heart is in the matter. There is nothing more obstructive than someone with such gifted qualities without either the passion or gumption.
This note is not a reply, but a sharing to all who might in one way or another have similar feelings. "with power comes great responsibility". This is true. But be careful to equate responsibility with power, such that one without a certain responsibility is powerless? If i am not nominated, am i powerless to bring about change?
In secular organisations, it could be true. But not in community.
Difference is made not just by the handing of appointments or ranks, but in the subtle day to day exchanges, the quotidiary decisions, the quiet reflections and alacrity to be the smallest and humblest.
This is the christian paradox that is really one's life purpose to internalize. "to live you must die".
Jonathan Pillai's speech must have made a momentous impact on all. I was thrown aback as well. On one hand, we see how far we need go to be in authentic community. On another, we see how far we have come. So juggling vision and gratefulness, between beating ourselves up and becoming over lackadaisical, is really the delicate responsibility each of us have as members of the same body. And let me reiterate, its you, you and you who have to shoulder such encumbrance. How do you shoulder it? With honesty, with prayer, with humility and with grace.
God bless
Marcus
But reading your post, prompted me to make some reflections of my own. And as much as i belong to another cell group, i will be thick-skinned enough to make this small 'intrusion'. :)
Our inadequacy constantly prompts us to make wild judgments about ourselves and others. It is important to note that inferiority goes hand in hand with a certain self-righteousness- we feel indignant about things that happen simply because we attach that particular thing to our self worth. In this case, it is nomination? In another, it could be affirmation. Yet in another it could be something else. But point is, simply, let nothing or no one be the measure of who you are. This is not nihilistic or buddhistic in perspective. This is simply, christian. Our measure, as our worth, must be that from God. We are who we are because He is Who Is.
Also, let us understand the heart of the matter in leadership, is really whether the leader's heart is in the matter. There is nothing more obstructive than someone with such gifted qualities without either the passion or gumption.
This note is not a reply, but a sharing to all who might in one way or another have similar feelings. "with power comes great responsibility". This is true. But be careful to equate responsibility with power, such that one without a certain responsibility is powerless? If i am not nominated, am i powerless to bring about change?
In secular organisations, it could be true. But not in community.
Difference is made not just by the handing of appointments or ranks, but in the subtle day to day exchanges, the quotidiary decisions, the quiet reflections and alacrity to be the smallest and humblest.
This is the christian paradox that is really one's life purpose to internalize. "to live you must die".
Jonathan Pillai's speech must have made a momentous impact on all. I was thrown aback as well. On one hand, we see how far we need go to be in authentic community. On another, we see how far we have come. So juggling vision and gratefulness, between beating ourselves up and becoming over lackadaisical, is really the delicate responsibility each of us have as members of the same body. And let me reiterate, its you, you and you who have to shoulder such encumbrance. How do you shoulder it? With honesty, with prayer, with humility and with grace.
God bless
Marcus
Exciting times!!!!!
People, haha i am like writing to myself or something cos havent really like annouce to everybody the existance of this blog but in any case....
This is really an exciting time in our community! Don't ya think so? i mean like all the changes and how our lifes and being converted in the mist of all this. Haha maybe we dun realise it but its quite visible how we are more in touched with ourselves and with people from community thru this.
Yup i speak for myself too! Indeed Jesus in short is simple wonderful! Cos the more i reflect about it, the more i see God's hands in all this and how he will continue to rise us up from our damps and how our Biggest Faults will also be our Biggest Strength!
I guess i was quite disappointed when i wasn't nominated(very personnal) and many thoughts came to my mind. Thoughts of unworthiness and self worth, thoughts of leaving cos i felt like after all i have done.... in any case these are examples of thots i had and the struggles i faced, but these are not important the important thing is that God has taught me what it means to love, cos i guess i have loved in the wrong way. I love with the expectation of a return. But the love that Jesus calls us to is a selfless love, a love without expectation or return. He has also reminded me of what my calling in community is.
It is not to prove anything but to love and serve. Is what is required of a member of this community any less than of a core team? the ans is NO! no matter which of this body of community we are serving, we are still part of this body, and it is our calling to give where and when we can. Hee and for a start, is to look less on ourselves and gaze more on Jesus. Cos only then we stop looking at out unworthiness our faults and failings but to remember why and what we are called to do! So hang in there my brothers and sisters and cling on to JESUS!
This is really an exciting time in our community! Don't ya think so? i mean like all the changes and how our lifes and being converted in the mist of all this. Haha maybe we dun realise it but its quite visible how we are more in touched with ourselves and with people from community thru this.
Yup i speak for myself too! Indeed Jesus in short is simple wonderful! Cos the more i reflect about it, the more i see God's hands in all this and how he will continue to rise us up from our damps and how our Biggest Faults will also be our Biggest Strength!
I guess i was quite disappointed when i wasn't nominated(very personnal) and many thoughts came to my mind. Thoughts of unworthiness and self worth, thoughts of leaving cos i felt like after all i have done.... in any case these are examples of thots i had and the struggles i faced, but these are not important the important thing is that God has taught me what it means to love, cos i guess i have loved in the wrong way. I love with the expectation of a return. But the love that Jesus calls us to is a selfless love, a love without expectation or return. He has also reminded me of what my calling in community is.
It is not to prove anything but to love and serve. Is what is required of a member of this community any less than of a core team? the ans is NO! no matter which of this body of community we are serving, we are still part of this body, and it is our calling to give where and when we can. Hee and for a start, is to look less on ourselves and gaze more on Jesus. Cos only then we stop looking at out unworthiness our faults and failings but to remember why and what we are called to do! So hang in there my brothers and sisters and cling on to JESUS!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
better late than never
Hi friends,
haha this is a bold step for me to start this blog cos i never usually read emails or check them first so yup this is it. This is where we can have our constipated sharings in our daily lifes hee.
And haha this is by no means presurrized by the other two self groups! haha okok i guess we are.... Hope that this will be a source of support for us as a cell!
haha this is a bold step for me to start this blog cos i never usually read emails or check them first so yup this is it. This is where we can have our constipated sharings in our daily lifes hee.
And haha this is by no means presurrized by the other two self groups! haha okok i guess we are.... Hope that this will be a source of support for us as a cell!
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